do you ever have those days when stress wins? when you’re heart feels like it’s going to explode and you are trying to formulate words, but your mouth isn’t moving as fast as your brain and you can’t finish a conversation with one person before the phone rings or someone else needs you and your inbox is full and you feel like if one more person asks you something you might topple over and die? and you know things are going to be ok, and you know you are supported, and you know that this too shall pass. but it just takes it’s toll and you break down because it feels so real.
that was me today.
i cried a little, because that’s what i know how to do, that’s how i know how to handle stress. i am completely ill-equipped otherwise to handle it. i just never learned how. so i’m in this place where i need to help manage it, i need to find a balance between my work life and my life life so i don’t get to the ugly cry stage and act like a teenager at my place of business.
so … what makes me feel better? let’s start a list……
– crying
– talking walks
– doing that thing when you start crying but then you start laughing and then you start crying again
– baths
– massages
– exercising
– chocolate chip cookies
– lighting candles
– reading
– mani/pedis
– baking
tonight i opted for the bath, and it helped a little. it made me feel normal at least, like i was a human and i do human things other than work. but my brain won’t shut up and my heart won’t stop pounding.
i changed my sheets though, and i’m about to climb in them with my clean self and that is always my most favorite of nights. who knows, tomorrow is a new day – maybe this will help me dream clean and start fresh for tomorrow.
here’s hoping.
