i can do hard things.

i feel like i’m hearing sarah jessica parker’s voiceover in my head when i sit down to write. and i want to come up with something clever to start this off like “there’s an old saying that goes…” but i don’t really have the old saying prepared, and this exercise is mostly just to get the crap out of my head before attempting to go on with my day. so, there’s an old saying that goes – get the crap out of your head before you start the day – meagen carroll.

i still feel the same way i did yesterday. nothing much has changed. but i am trying to start each day with a meditation, some apple cider vinegar, and 15-20 minutes of free writing just to help ground myself. i do wonder tho, if i’m a bit more melancholy this morning because i had that 1 drink last night while in the bath, a heavenly practice in the moment, but it’s possible it could contribute a bit towards my depressive tendencies. something to keep an eye on, especially as i am wanting to jump into a healthier me.

i don’t know if it’s post-covid, post-costa rica or just because i’m in a lot of stress, but my body seems to be in a state of inflammation. i have quite a few angry red cystic pimples, mostly on the left side of my face, that don’t seem to want to go away. having adult acne in my late 30s makes me feel so unattractive it really can affect my mood. so i’m doing my best to bring the inflammation down. limiting gluten again, upping green leafy vegetables and trying to enter into a semi regular workout routine of supplementing my normal morning walk with 20 mins of strength training. oh, and meditation to help the stress. today is leg day though. why oh why did i decide to do leg day on a monday? but i’ve felt good after each time i’ve done the strenth training, so i’m trying to get in the mindset that i can do hard things, because those hard things make me feel better, ultimately. you just gotta get through the hard stuff to make the good stuff feel worth it – meagen carroll.